Second Draft Chapter 18

Even though I didn’t read the newspapers, for the next two weeks all I heard about was the approaching war. It was impossible to get away from the talk. It was in the dormitories, in the classrooms, at the cafeteria, during lunchtime with David and Helen, and especially among the Cadets.

Clio was the only one who seemed as blissfully ignorant as me, and so I found myself spending more and more time with her. And there was Hermes, who knew all the facts but thankfully refused to talk about it. Hermes believed that one opinion was just as foolish as the next, and so it was a waste of time to sit around talking about it. “Whatever will happen is going to happen anyway,” he said once, and that was all he would say on the subject.

Unfortunately at Cadets, where I spent most of my time, this same attitude didn’t seem to hold. “Did you read the papers today?” someone asked. “It looks like negotiations are underway. Maybe we won’t have this war after all.”

This produced a round of laughter. “Don’t you worry about it,” someone else said. “We’ll have this war. It’s as sure as sunrise. Those scum aren’t going to talk their way out of this one.”

One of the First years piped up. “How long is the war going to last?”

Nobody really knew the answer to that, although most of the predictions were less than a year.

“Six months!”

“Six weeks.”

“Nah, don’t listen to that. We’ll drive them back and have them begging for mercy in two weeks tops.”

“So there won’t be any fighting left for me,” the first year said. He was disappointed, but this was also clearly the answer he’d expected.

“If you’re so eager to get to the front lines, you can drop out of University and enlist in the regular infantry,” someone told him.

“I just might,” he said. “It would be a waste to let this war just pass us by.”

“What do you think Jon? How long is this war going to last?”

As the leader of my Cadet class, my opinion seemed to carry more weight these days and I had known it was only a matter of time before the discussion was directed my way. I was still lacing up my boots, and getting ready to go out on the field. I put one boot on the bench, and tugged the laces tight. “What does it matter?” I said. “We go where we’re told to go, and we do what we’re told to do.” I tied the laces of one boot, then switched feet and put the other one on the bench. “If you want to enlist, that’s fine with me. But I’m staying in Cadets. The army needs leaders. This is where we’re meant to be. There will always be more wars.”

“I’m with you Jon. I’m staying here,” Christopher said. “It’s what every Cadet should do.” Christopher had the somewhat annoying habit of seeking to insert his opinion into every discussion, even if it was only just to agree with the previous speaker. I think he just wanted to be sure people noticed him.

The First Year was getting a little red around the ears now, and tried to defend himself. “But the War effort needs soldiers,” he said. “It’s our duty to do what we can for victory.”

Christopher just laughed. “Victory doesn’t need your help! There was never a more certain victory.” The First Year opened his mouth, either to defend his comment or explain it away, I’m not sure which because Christopher cut him off. “Now listen here. Flash, I mean the Duke, has never lost a single war. Since the Restoration, Fabulae has beaten all her enemies and beaten them soundly. What makes you think a small, upstart nation like Amicae is going to be any trouble?”

The First year was now too ashamed to speak, and just lowered his head and mumbled something. Off in the corner, I saw Ajax, Hector and Teucer snickering, but I wasn’t sure if they were laughing at the First Year, Christopher, or just at their own little joke.

The door opened, and Orion came through. “Training starts in five minutes,” he yelled at everyone. “Don’t let Zeus catch you being late.” I tied up my last boot, and went out the door.

**********************************************

After practice, I ran into Emma while leaving the training grounds. Or rather, she ran into me. She called out after me when she saw me walking back to my dormitory, and then she ran to catch up to me.

She could run fast, I thought. She still had the same spring in her step that I remembered from our school days. With a sigh, I also remembered how she had beaten me on the racetrack. Of course that was a long time ago. I’d like to think that after all of my Cadet training, I could beat her now. But then again, watching her run I had my doubts about even that.

She wasn’t even breathing hard as she caught up to me. “Hey Jon,” she said. Then, without waiting for me to return the greeting, she burst out, “want to sign my petition?” She pushed the stack of papers toward me.

“What is this?” There were maybe ten sheets of paper, and I flipped through them to look at the collected signatures.

“It’s against the war. I’m going to turn it into Flash himself.”

“What? No. Emma are you crazy? You can get arrested for this kind of thing.”

“After what Lucius has been doing, it’s the least we can do.”

“Well LJ is going to get himself arrested too. In fact I’m surprised it hasn’t happened already.”

“Lucius doesn’t care about that. And neither do I.” She had stopped referring to him by his initials, and was now saying his whole first name. And what’s more she pronounced it with a certain amount of respect.

“Emma, I’m a Cadet. I can’t sign it. Get that thing away from me.”

“But all your friends signed it. They told me you would want to sign.”

“They were wrong. I’m not signing.” I flipped through the papers, and sure enough I did see all of their names. David, Simon, Icarus, they were all right there, as well as many other people I knew: Ares, Clodius, Sophia, Varro, and...

“What is my brother’s name doing here?”

I had spoken so suddenly and so loudly that Emma actually took a step backwards. Once she recovered from her surprise she quickly stepped back to regain her ground and, I think, show me that she couldn’t be intimidated. “I went to the old school and collected signatures there. I saw your brother. He and I are old friends. You remember when you had me watch him for the afternoon?”

“I want his name off that list.”

Emma’s eyes narrowed, and she knew it was going to be a struggle. She acted first though and snatched the petition out of my hands before I even thought to protect it.

“Damn it Emma, give me that back!” I was furious at being caught off guard. If only I had been thinking I could have held that petition out of her reach, and she wouldn’t have been able to get it back. She had acted before I even thought, and now she had the advantage. “I don’t want his name on there.”

“That’s not your decision to make Jon. He signed by himself.”

“He’s too young to understand and you know it. That signature could ruin his whole future.”

“You’re the one who doesn’t understand Jon.”

I could still overpower her and wrestle that petition back. When it came down to it, I was pretty sure I’d be stronger than her. Only you can’t beat up a girl, right? I decided to try and bluff anyway. “Emma, this is the last time I’m going to ask. Give me back that petition or-.”

“Or what?”

“Take my brother’s name off!”

“No one’s name gets taken off once it’s on.” And with that, she turned around and walked away. Walked! She didn’t even try and run from me. All the time my mind was thinking, “Get her. Tackle her. Take back that petition. Who cares if she’s a girl? You have to protect your brother.” But my body just stayed there and watched her calmly walk away.

*********************************************

“Mind if I sit here?”

“What? Are you kidding? We’re saving that seat for you. Hey, Icarus, move your cup and make room for Jon.”

“Thanks,” I said, putting my tray down and taking the empty seat.

“We always save a spot for you Jon,” David continued. “Of course these days we’re never sure if you’re going to show up or not, but we always save a spot for you anyway.”

“Where’s Helen?”

“She’s in the library studying. She has a test next hour, so she’s skipping lunch.”

“I haven’t seen much of her lately.”

“Yeah, neither have I,” Icarus chimed in.

“You know how seriously she takes her school work. Sometimes she locks herself in her room and studies all the time.”

“I could never do that,” Icarus said.

“I don’t know if I could either,” David admitted. “Helen’s quite something though. It’s amazing what she can do when she puts her mind to it.”

“So when are you two getting married anyway.” A mischievous smile lingered on Icarus’s face, as if he were only too amused by his own joke. I looked down at my potatoes to hide my expression.

“Knock it off Icarus,” David said. Then his eyes lit up as he suddenly thought of something. “Hey, speaking of girls, I’ve been hearing rumors about you Jon.”

“Yeah, who’s that girl I always see you with?” Icarus asked

David turned to Icarus now. “You’ve seen her? So it’s true then. Is this why we never see you at lunch anymore Jon?”

“I have been seeing someone lately, yes.” There was no point in saying too much at first. I knew David would want to ask a lot of questions anyway.

“And who is this someone?” David asked.

Icarus answered for me. “The girl with black hair. The one who looks like a princess.”

“Clio,” I said, providing a name with Icarus’s description.

“Clio?” David repeated the name in disbelief. “Clio? I know her. She’s in one of my classes. She’s gorgeous. She looks, well just like Icarus said, she looks like a princess.” David put down his fork and starred at me. “But she acts like a princess too. she doesn’t talk to anyone. How in the world did you meet her Jon?”

“At an art show,” I answered truthfully. “And then here in the cafeteria.”

“But how did...I mean she’s so much different than you Jon, how did the two of you ever connect?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re so friendly and outgoing, and she’s so, I don’t know, she’s so cold. I would never have thought you would end up with a girl like that Jon. I always thought you would find someone really bubbly, and friendly and maybe even a little bit goofy, just like you.”

“Like Helen,” Icarus said.

I looked down again. “Well, unfortunately there’s only one Helen,” David said. “But what about Emma? She always seemed a like you?”

“Yes, that reminds me, did one of you tell Emma I would sign her antiwar petition?”

“Maybe,” David answered.

“Now why would you do that?”

“Well if it was me, maybe I thought you might want a chance to-.”

“I made myself clear when you tried to get me to read LJ’s book.”

“Jon, this is different. This war is, why this war is so pointless, anyone can see its wrong.”

“What made you think that I, as a Cadet leader, would want to sign a petition against the war?”

“What’s with you Jon? You never used to care about that kind of stuff before. Who cares if you’re a Cadet leader?”

“I care. A lot of people care. It’s a big deal.”

“The old Jon wouldn’t have cared,” David said.

“Don’t you get it? I’ve grown up.”

David held up his hands as if surrendering. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry Jon.”

“And did you tell Emma to get my brother’s signature?”

“What? No, of course not. Is your brother on the list? How does Emma even know your brother?”

“Remember a few summers ago when she watched him for us one afternoon.”

David blinked blankly, and then his face lit up. “Oh yeah, I’ve forgotten all about that.” He laughed. “That Emma is so determined, isn’t she? She never changes.”

I didn’t think it was funny. In fact I had the urge to take my plate and smash it into David’s face. But instead I just looked at him silently. He noticed my glare, and stopped laughing. “Look, Jon, I’m sorry about that, but it doesn’t matter. Flash can never arrest all of the people whose names are on that petition.”

“Oh yes he can.”

“And besides, your brother’s young enough that no one will take his signature seriously. And besides that, your family is so well connected that nothing can happen anyway. Your father is the Duke’s best friend.”

“It could still ruin his career.”

“Jon, your brother could defecate on the Duke’s desk, and it wouldn’t ruin his career. Your family has got it made.”

I didn’t answer this. David always thought everything was easy for my family. It was a waste of time to try and correct him. “That’s why you’ll never amount to anything David,” I thought silently. “Because you think everything is just given. You don’t understand hard work.”

Because I didn’t speak, an awkward silence, like the silence that always follows an argument between friends, fell across the table. I ate in silence for a couple minutes. Icarus broke the silence eventually by announcing he had to go to class.

A couple minutes after Icarus had left, David spoke up. “I didn’t tell Emma you wanted to sign.”

“You just said you did.”

“I said maybe I did. But it wasn’t me.”

I didn’t know whether this made me more or less angry. “Then why did we just argue about it if it wasn’t even you?”

“Because I agree with the petition. And I do think you should sign it. But I didn’t give your name to Emma. That was Simon.”

“Simon? I haven’t even seen Simon all year. Why would he give my name to Emma.”

“Probably just because he hasn’t seen you. He hasn’t been listening to all your new opinions.”

“But he must know I’m a Cadet leader now.”

David shrugged. “Maybe. Simon doesn’t go to the University anymore. He dropped out at the beginning of this year. That’s why you haven’t seen him.”

It did frustrate me that I was always the last one to know about these things, but I knew that was inevitable. With all the time I was devoting to Cadets, it was only natural that I would loose touch with everyone. “Why did he drop out?”

“To follow Joshua.”

“To follow Joshua on his trip?”

“No, didn’t you hear Jon? Joshua is back. He lives in the slums now with the factory workers and the beggars.”

“No I didn’t hear anything. Why would I know something like that?”

“Well because he’s creating a big sensation. Lots of people have quit school to follow Joshua. You remember Matthew? He also dropped out of University to follow Joshua.”

“Follow him where? Where does he go?”

“No, that’s not what I mean Jon. Joshua’s started talking to people. Large crowds gather around to here him talk.”

“Joshua?”

“I don’t know what he’s been saying. Something about religion or God or something like that. But it’s not like what they say in church. At least that’s what Simon tells me.”

I put my head down and closed my eyes as I tried to absorb all of this new information. Then I looked at David again. “You mean people actually listen to Joshua?”

“Huge crowds.”

“Is that what Simon says?” I asked skeptically.

“That’s what everyone says Jon. It’s big news. Don’t you guys talk about it at Cadets?”

“All they talk about is the war.”

“Oh, yeah, I guess that’s big news too.”

I studied David to see if all of this was some sort of a joke. Then I said, “Look, we both grew up with Joshua,” I said. “Was there anything about him that impressed you? Anything that made you think twice about him? He was the most ordinary, the dullest person in the world, and you’re telling me he has huge crowds lined up to listen to him talk?”

“I know Jon. It’s pretty unbelievable isn’t it?” David said.

“And what does he talk about? About God? Is that what you said? What does Joshua know about God? We all grew up going to chapel. He doesn’t know any more than the rest of us.”

David nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah, I know, I know, I know. It doesn’t make any sense to me either. That’s why Icarus and I are going down to hear Joshua speak and see what all the fuss is about. We were thinking sometime this week if you wanted to-.”

I held up my hand to stop David. “I can’t. I’m too busy with Cadets.”

David smiled dryly. “Yeah, I figured you would say that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s alright Jon. I understand. I’ll tell Simon.”

“And tell him not to give my name out to Emma anymore.”

“Yes Jon,” David said in his sickly sweet voice. “I’ll be sure to give Simon all your love.”

*********************************************

“Listen, I had a really good time tonight.” The words poured out of my mouth automatically, like I was reciting some pre-arranged formula. And in a way, I was. It seemed like the appropriate thing to say at the end of an evening.

If Clio caught the cliché, she didn’t seem to mind. She squeezed my arm. “Of course you did. You were with me.”

I leaned forward to kiss her. She leaned back in an almost automatic motion and held her head out of reach. I was disappointed, but Clio didn’t allow the moment to linger. She started walking again, and I followed her.

A small river ran through the campus, and I could hear it trickling, and I knew it was close by, but it was too dark for me to see much of anything.

Off in the distance I could see the street lamps, and I knew we were getting close to Clio’s dormitory. I knew I was still on the path by the soft thud my shoes made against the bricks, but I couldn’t see my feet. There was just enough distant light for me to make out Clio’s face. Her black hair and her black eyes seemed to want to melt away into the darkness.

The air had a wet, misty quality to it. A before-the-rain type feeling I suppose, even though it never did rain that night. As I walked I felt my face constantly brushed by the cool moist air. It reminded me of the when I was a kid and all the evenings I used to spend playing outside with David and Simon. I had almost forgotten those evenings. Now I suddenly felt that all I wanted in life was to spend every night outside enjoying the night air.

I quickened my pace slightly and went ahead of Clio. My hands hung useless by my side, but my face was forward to catch all the mist the air had to offer. I breathed in deeply, closed my eyes, and just stood there as I felt my face get wet.

I realized there were no longer any footsteps behind me. I turned around and saw Clio standing a few steps back, just looking at me. In the faint light I couldn’t make out her expression, but I heard her laugh. “What are you doing?” she asked.

“Nothing. Only...”

“Only what?”

“Only it’s such a beautiful night. That’s all.”

She laughed again. “It’s too cloudy. You can’t see a thing in the sky tonight.”

“But it’s very nice down here.”

Clio’s shoes clicked on the bricks as she walked over to me. “I like to stargaze,” she said pointedly.

“We can go out another night then, if you don’t like the sky tonight.”

“Let’s. But let’s stay out a little longer tonight as well. I want to sit by the river.”

I looked past her in the direction of the trickling sound. I could hear the water, but everything beyond Clio’s face was just blackness. “It’s really dark,” I said.

“I know.”

“Well, how are we going to find the river?”

“Just follow me.” She grabbed my hand and led me through the bushes, past a row of trees, and to the edge of the riverbank. She must have had excellent night vision because she avoided every possible obstacle.

And then, just as we sat on the edge of the bank and dangled our feet over, the clouds broke and a sliver of moonlight fell down on the river. The timing was too perfect. “That must be just for us.”

“What?”

“The moonlight. It came to the river at the same time we did. God must have sent it just for us.”

“You’re not one of those, are you?”

“Me? No, it’s just an expression.” We sat in silence watching the moonlight on the water for a few seconds, and then I asked, “Would it matter if I was?”

She thought for a minute. “No, I guess not. I guess you have to be sort of religious in the Cadets anyway right? Don’t they make you pray before and after each practice?”

“Yeah, but it’s like singing hymns in chapel. Everyone has to do it. Nobody really means it. As long as you bow your head and close your eyes at the beginning and end of each practice, that’s as religious as you have to be.”

“Even as a leader?”

“For me, sure, I’m only a class leader. If I was on top of the whole thing, like Orion, I’d have to lead the prayers. And in a couple of years I probably will be top Cadet, but that’s no big deal. I’ve been listening to prayers all my life. I know how to make them up.”

We sat in silence for a while longer before I realized I had been rude by not returning the question. “What about you? Are you religious?”

“I don’t believe in anything,” Clio said. “I never have. Even when I was a little girl. My father and mother would tell me all about God, but I never believed it. Most little children believe everything their parents tell them, but not me.”

There was a tone of pride in Clio’s voice that worried me. I didn’t care what she believed, but I knew I didn’t like zealots. An atheist zealot could be just as much trouble as a religious zealot. And, since Flash was a believer, being associated with an atheist zealot would not be good for my future.

Maybe she realized what I was thinking, because she added, “I’d never tell anyone of course. I can sing hymns just as loud as anyone else in chapel. I only tell you, because I trust you.”

I think that was the most affectionate thing she had said to me so far. She was always so conservative with her words, and always preferred to leave unsaid what she could express with her eyes. I knew she liked me, although she never said so. And somehow I knew now that her revelation of trust was meant to convey something deeper. But all I could think of to say was, “Thank you.”

“From the moment I saw you I thought you looked like someone I could trust. But I wasn’t sure at first.”

“Why not?”

“Oh, nothing that was your fault. It just takes a while to be sure of these things, that’s all. But now I’m sure. Tonight, all night I’ve felt close to you. I know you would do anything for me.”

“Lots of guys would do anything for you. You’ve got more admirers than you realize.”

“Lots of guys would say they would do anything for me. I learned long ago that I have to be careful who I trust. But from the moment I saw you, I could see you had a kind face.”

“I do?”

“Very kind. I can read things like that. There’s a lot of warmth and kindness in your eyes. You’re the kind of person who would never hurt anyone. And you have an honest face. It’s very easy to believe the things you say.” As she talked about my face, her hand came up and touched my cheeks. I felt how soft and fragile her hand was.

“Of course faces can deceiving sometimes. So I had to see what you were like. And I’ve seen nothing but kindness in you the past few weeks. You were the perfect gentleman tonight.”

She moved her hand up from my to the back of my neck, and gently pulled my head down. We kissed softly and then broke away again. As our lips parted, she stared into my eyes with a soft look I had never seen in her before. “I thought you only liked me because I was a Cadet leader,” I confessed.

“No, I had started to like you before I even knew that. But I was impressed by that. It shows strength. I don’t care about Cadets. You could quit tomorrow and it wouldn’t make a difference to me. But strength is important. You’ve seen my brother. I don’t want a man like him. I want someone who can protect me.”

“Protect you from what?”

“Anything that comes. Whatever it is. You’ll do that for me Jon, won’t you?”

“Of course.”

“And Orpheus as well. He’s so weak he’ll never be able to take care of himself. And Eurydice certainly isn’t going to help I’m the only strength he has. That’s why I wanted you to meet him before we did anything else. Any man in my life has to be able to take care of Orpheus as well.”

“I will. Of course I will.”

She snuggled in close to me. Her hand went around my waist now. “I know you will. You’re an art lover as well. You can see he’s a genius. He has so much to offer the world.”

“Of course he does. Don’t worry, he’s going to be alright.” The underlying assumption in all this, that there was something she and her brother needed protection from, confused me somewhat. But I was a Cadet leader, and I had never in my life been more confident than I was these days. If I could beat everyone else in my class, what challenge was to great for me?

“I’ll take care of both of you,” I repeated. “No matter what happens.” We started kissing again softly at first but gradually her lips became more eager and harder. All I could think of was how lucky I was to have been picked by such a beautiful girl.

******************************************************************
[Idea: continue Jon-Simon antagonism until this point. Puts emphasis on transformation. Might ruin emphasis on Ajax’s transformation though]

One day, when I got back from classes, Simon was waiting for me. I opened my door, and he was sitting in my chair.

He stood up quickly with an embarrassed smile. “You don’t mind do you? The door was unlocked.”

I turned my back on him briefly as I took my books out of my book bag and put them back on the shelf. “If I cared, I would have locked the door.” I turned back and looked at him. He was still the same old Simon. Tall, slim but well built, blond hair and green eyes. The only big difference was his posture. Instead of his usual languidness of movement, he looked very stiff. I sensed this was partly because he felt uncomfortable as an uninvited guest. We were old friends, but time can do funny things with old friendships.

“Just coming back from class?”

“Yep. All done for the day now.” I smiled a rather pointless smile, just to put Simon at ease. I motioned for him to sit back down, and I pulled up the other chair.

“Oh, by the way Jon, I’ve been hearing rumors about you.” The old faint gleam of mischief was suddenly in his eyes, and I realized that nothing puts old friends at ease faster than new gossip. So I went along with it.

“What have you been hearing?”

“Just little bits from David and Icarus. What is this about you and a new girl?”

“Just someone from the provinces. You wouldn’t know her.”

“Aha! So its true.”

“Well it might be,” I said, doing my part to make Simon work for the information and extend the game. “What did they tell you?”

“Not too much,” Simon admitted. “They seemed a little confused as to the details actually. But they did agree, and this is important, that she was one of the most beautiful girls they had ever seen.” He was completely at ease and enjoying himself now. “David said she was more beautiful than Rosa.” He paused, then added as an afterthought. “Icarus debated him on that last point, but you know, that’s Icarus isn’t it?”

“Well that’s all the important stuff. I don’t know what else there is to tell.”

“Hey!”

“Okay, uh, she smells nice. She likes to wear black. Sometimes red, mostly black. She speaks with a bit of a provincial accent sometimes, but in a really cute sort of way, and only when she gets excited.”

“Jon, I swear, I’m going to kill you. No wonder David and Icarus didn’t have anything useful to tell me.”

I laughed and, feeling that we had pushed the game out to its natural limit, I told Simon the whole story. I started at the beginning with the art show, and continued right up through the promise I had made the previous night. I’m not sure why I told Simon so much. I could have satisfied his curiosity with a lot less. But sometimes it’s easier to confide in someone you haven’t seen for a while. There is a safety in the distance that isn’t there with people you meet regularly.

And Simon invited the confidence. He never interrupted, but followed my story with thoughtful eyes. He never pressed me for anything more than I was willing to say, but showed genuine interest in what I had to say. What I had to say was important to him in a way it never used to be when we were kids. Simon had changed. It wasn’t just, as I had thought previously, that I had grown more tolerant of him. There was something different about Simon.

He listened to the whole story without comment, and neither tried to give me advice or compare it to himself, as the old Simon would have done. All he said was, “I’d really like to meet this girl someday. In the meantime if there’s anything I can do about, I don’t know, anything, just let me know.”

“Thanks.” And then suddenly I realized what an ass I had been. “Oh man, what am I doing boring you with stories about my love life? You’re the one we should be taking about.”

“Don’t worry Jon. We have all afternoon to talk.”

“Not me. I’ve got to be at Cadets in a couple hours.”

“A couple hours should be plenty.”

“What do you want to tell me?”

A quick smile flashed across Simon’s face. “Where do I begin?”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make it out last week with David and Icarus.”

“No Jon, I’m sorry its taken me this long to visit you. There’s been a lot of stuff I wanted to talk to you about. Things have just been so busy for me lately.”

“We’ve all been busy. Hey, do you want some food or something?”

“If you have some, yes. I haven’t eaten since this morning.”

I walked over to my desk and rummaged around. “All I’ve got is candy,” I said.

“I’ll be okay. I’ve gone for longer without food.”

“What kind of an answer is that? If you’re hungry lets go out and get some food.”

“I don’t have any money.”

I thought quickly. My father’s wealth was no secret. I had a lot of money at my disposal, and Simon knew it. But would he be insulted if I offered to pay? To my surprise, he eagerly accepted. We walked across campus to one of the student cafeterias, and I paid for us both.

Simon ate his food hungrily. He tore large chunks out of his bread and put them in his mouth all at once. For a while, I just watched him eat. “Do you have a job?” I asked him finally.

He shook his head. “No time,” he said with his mouth full.

“No time? You’re not in school anymore. What do you do with all your time?”

“Joshua has a lot of work to be done.”

“But who feeds you? Do you still get food from your parents?”

“No, I,” he paused and wiped his mouth off with his sleeve. “I haven’t seen my parents for several months now. They disowned me when I dropped out of University.”

“They disowned you?”

“They said I was throwing away everything they had worked for. And they didn’t approve of what Joshua was doing. We had a big fight. It wasn’t pretty. I tried to stay calm and explain things to them, but by the end they were both yelling so much I couldn’t hear myself think. I haven’t seen them since then.”

“So you dropped out of University, you have no job, and your parents disowned you?”

“It’s been a busy year.”

“How do you eat?”

“I don’t know. Everyday I wake up not knowing where my food is coming from. But do you know what the weird thing is Jon? Somehow it always works out. Somehow food always turns up.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way Simon, but if it were me I think I’d get a job.”

“Joshua keeps us busy.”

“If it were me,” I said cautiously, not wanting to offend Simon after we had been getting along so well, “I’d spend a little less time with Joshua, and more time worry about where I was going to get food.”

“The work we do with Joshua is too important.”

“What work?”

Simon took a deep breath. “Well, where do I begin?” he said for the second time that day. “Joshua’s been talking to all the people about God.” I rolled my eyes. “What’s wrong Jon?”

“What do you mean ‘what’s wrong’? You grew up in the same school I did. You remember what they talked about in chapels. ‘Don’t read these kind of books.’ ‘Don’t see these kind of plays.’ ‘Don’t think these kind of thoughts.’ ‘Bow your head. Close your eyes.’ I mean come on! What a waste of time that all was.”

Instead of being offended, Simon became excited. “No, Jon listen. That’s just it. Joshua doesn’t talk about that stuff at all. He talks about helping people.”

“Why? What does that have to do with God?”

“Well for instance in the slums there are a lot of people who are hungry and never have enough to eat.”

“Yes, and you and Joshua are among them, right?”

“But whatever we have we share. Nothing that any of us have is our own. But we don’t lack for anything. For example, when I joined Joshua I sold everything that I had. It wasn’t much, but I sold all my books, my extra clothes, and my sports equipment. And I gave it all to Joshua, and he distributed it to any person according to their need. Everyone who joins us must do likewise. And if Joshua, or I, or any of us knew of someone who was in need, we would do everything to make sure they had food by that night. We wouldn’t rest or even feed ourselves.”

A wave of skepticism washed over. “Is that why you wanted to see me? Because of all the money my father has?”

“No Jon, I’m just trying to explain things to you. I didn’t come here for your money. You wanted to know what I’ve been doing, and so I’m telling you. I’m here as a friend, and to just explain things.”

“Okay, then explain this to me. Joshua is the same age we are. Why is he qualified to tell people about God?”

“Because he knows things.”

“What does he know? He grew up in the same place as the rest of us. He didn’t learn anything in school that I didn’t. Where did he learn all this stuff?”

Simon put his piece of bread down and looked off in the distance while he collected his thoughts. “I don’t know. I didn’t know Joshua well at school. None of us did. I saw more of him than you and David I guess, but he was never an easy person to get to know. He kept to himself most of the time. He didn’t interact well with other people. But even back then I felt that he understood stuff that I didn’t, and he just didn’t know how to communicate it with me. Leda was really the only one who understood him. Is any of this making sense Jon?”

“I don’t know how to answer that,” I said. “It sounds like it doesn’t even make sense to you.”

“Maybe it doesn’t. There are a lot of things I still don’t understand. Joshua is always frustrated with us because we don’t understand things. But when I’m with Joshua, I feel like I’m part of something that’s important. And it’s so important that I’m willing to give up University, give up a job, and even give up my mother and father for it.” He looked down at his food with a little embarrassment. “I’m sorry Jon, that’s the best I can do right now. Maybe someday I’ll be able to explain it better. But I think you really need to come down and see Joshua yourself to fully understand.”

“I don’t have time to see him now. Not with Cadet practice. Not when he’s all the way out in the slums anyway. Is there any chance of Joshua coming to University?”

“I doubt it. Joshua says our work is among the poor.”

“Well then maybe I can drop by and see you guys during the summer.”

“If you can come Jon, fifteen minutes of listening to Joshua would explain more than I could in two hours.”

“Okay, and in the meantime if you ever need a warm bed to sleep on, you can come over to my place for the night. I never got assigned a roommate, so there’s always an extra bed if you need it.”

Simon shook his head. “Thanks Jon, but I’ve gotten used to sleeping on the floor. I couldn’t leave Joshua and the others to go to a warm bed for myself.”

“Okay, if you ever need food then, come by. But just you. I’m not feeding all of the slums.”

Simon just laughed and didn’t answer. I had to get ready for Cadets, so we left shortly after. We made promises to try and do a better job of keeping in touch.

It was certainly one of the more interesting conversations I had in the past few months. But I had no time to dwell on it. I had Cadet practice and schoolwork to think about. Very soon, I forgot all about Simon and the whole visit.