Second Draft Chapter 11

My father must have noticed that I came home several hours later than the play actually ended, but he didn’t mention anything. I’m sure his mystical contacts he alluded to at the theater told him I had taken a girl with me, but he didn’t mention that either.

Monday found me back at school. After Saturday night, I was nervous about how I should act in front of Helen, but her natural friendliness immediately put me at ease as always. We chatted briefly before class. She said that she had really enjoyed the play, and asked me how I had spent the rest of the weekend. I told her that my father had made me stay home and study. I made a face. She laughed. Then the teacher entered the classroom, and all conversation ceased.

The evening found me working in the Cadet Center as always. I was doing some filing, pretending to look busy, when Orion walked into the Center again. But he was different. No longer an applicant, he was now a full cadet, with his own blue uniform. [Flash blue?]. Although he was only a first year student, he walked proudly. His confident swagger made him look older than he really was.

The legs of his uniform were stained with dirt, and the shirt was damp with sweat. It was 7 O’clock, so he must have just been returning from the afternoon Cadet drills. He handed in his acceptance papers. I rushed to the counter to take them, and started to file them with the rest of the Cadets who had been accepted.

Once again, I got the sense he was studying me, but I avoided his gaze. “What time do you finish he asked me abruptly.

Startled, I looked back at him. “In another hour [consistent?],” I answered.

“There’s something I want to show you,” he replied.

Orion had spoken in a clear booming voice that was easily overheard by the rest of the office, and my supervisor picked up on this, and nodded approvingly. “You’re not doing anything important here Jonathon,” he said. “If you wanted to spend some time with a Cadet, I’m sure your father would approve.”

I nodded slowly, a bit dazed by the sudden turn of events. I was at once delighted to get out of the Center an hour early, and at the same time greatly confused by Orion. Why did he take such an interest in me? What did he want to show me?

Orion turned and left the room. I ran after him. He didn’t speak to me again until we were outside, and I stayed respectfully silent. Then, once we had stepped outside of the City Hall, he set his Cadet bag on the ground and reverently, removed a long black cylindrical looking object. Although I had never seen one before, I knew at once it was a rifle. [Does Jon see when soldiers are in town?]

“They gave you a rifle?” I said in awe. “But you’re only a first year Cadet.”

“I’m in the leadership training course,” Orion responded. “We start weapons practice early.” {Think about better explanation?} He held the rifle out to me. “Here, take a closer look.”

I picked it up and ran my fingers along the cool steel barrel. I felt the hard wood butt, and even lifted it up to look down the sites on the end. And then, my boyish wonder at this new toy faded, and I remembered the original question that had been perplexing me. “Why are you showing this to me? You don’t even know me.”

“I know about you,” Orion answered, taking the rifle back. “Do you want to try it out with me?”

I answered that I did, and we left to walk to the Cadet shooting range. His natural walking pace was about the equivalent of a fast walk for me, so I was almost jogging just to keep up with him, but I tried to continue the conversation. “How do you know about me?”

“I’ve been watching you,” he said, “ever since that day when you ran into me in the market. I could see that you’re a lot like me.” We turned a corner. He was still walking fast, although somehow managing to not look like he was walking fast. Not only did he not seem exerted from the effort, but his legs didn’t even look like they were moving that fast. Because of his tall stature, he got most of his speed from his large steps. I broke into a trot to catch up with him again. Suddenly he stopped, and looked me straight in the eyes. “Both of us are destined for great things. We’re not like the other people around us.”

And then he started walking again, and I was once again trying to keep up, but I thought about his words as we walked through the town. The more I thought about them, the more they seemed to feel true. I was different than the people around me. There was some sort of drive inside me that separated me from all of my classmates. There was some sort of inner greatness I could almost feel bursting to get out.

We arrived at the shooting range. It was smaller than I expected, and surprisingly shabby looking. There were small bullet ridden targets on one end of the field. The targets were traditional; a bull’s eye in the center, and then rings of expanding circles. The outer circles had much more bullet holes than the center bull’s eye.

On the other end of the field was a small patch of sand, about the length of man lying down. Orion went over to this end of the field. He set his bag down on the ground and removed a leather pouch full of bullets. Then he lay down in the sand, and viewed the targets once through his sights. He slid open the chamber of his gun, took out a bullet, examined it, and placed it inside the chamber. He slid the bolt back in place, shutting the chamber, and calmly took aim at the farthest target. He fired a shot, and the target rocket backwards in response. Some of the wood splintered out from the center, indicating he had hit the bull’s-eye.

Orion appeared not to take any notice of his mark. He simply opened open the chamber of the rifle again in a calm steady manner. The hot shell popped out, and Orion blew slowly into the chamber to clear it of dust before taking another bullet from his pouch and inserting it into the chamber. I wouldn’t have called his movements slow, but there was a careful deliberateness to them. He took aim and fired at the next target. Another bull’s-eye.

I watched with awe as he repeated this pattern five more times, carefully nailing each target dead center. Each time the target rocked backwards and the splinters flew out from the bull’s-eye mark, he simply reloaded the gun and went on to the next target. There was no sense that he took pleasure in his complete accuracy. It simply seemed to be what he expected, and nothing more or less.

Not until the seventh target had been blown backwards did he acknowledge me again. He turned around and walked behind him to where I had been standing a few feet back. The gun dangled loosely from his right hand.

“Take it,” he said, stretching out his arm towards me. I took the gun from his outstretched hand. I could immediately feel the difference. Gone was the cold feeling of the steel {Iron?}. Instead the gun now felt hot and alive. I felt that the gun was surging with energy, as if it were something alive. I could feel the power radiating from it.

“You feel it, don’t you?” Orion said. His words broke me out of my trance, and I looked, startled, into his eyes. And I could see he knew what I was thinking. I nodded slowly. “Good,” he said. “Now you try.”

I walked over to the pouch of bullets, and lay down in the sand. Orion stayed where he was, but even from the distance I could feel his eyes on me, and it made me self-conscious. My hand fumbled nervously as I tried to load the first bullet. “Slowly,” Orion called out. “Don’t try and hurry.”

Taking a breath, I put the front tip of the bullet into round opening, and then slide the rest after it. The sound of the metals gently sliding against each other made a pleasant sound to my ear. I shut the chamber, and attempted to pull the latch back. I couldn’t do it with the same smoothness as Orion, and I had to jiggle the handle back and forth for a while before it finally slid back into place. I pointed the gun at the closest target and took aim through the sights. I pressed the trigger. The loud explosion didn’t surprise me as much as the violent reverse thrust of the gun. It jerked backward, bruising my shoulder. I didn’t see where the bullet went, but I knew it didn’t hit the target.

“Good,” Orion called out. “Now that you know the feel, you can try again.”

Carelessly I popped open the chamber, and the hot bullet shell fell out onto my hand. I jerked my hand back like a startled animal, but I could already see the burn mark. In a couple days that would swell up and blister, but it was okay for now. I ignored it as I loaded another bullet in. Again, I jiggled the latch to try and shut the chamber. I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten to blow into the chamber, as I had seen Orion do between shots, and wondered if that was important. But, since I knew he was watching me, I didn’t want to make the mistake noticeable by trying to start over again.

I took the second shot, and missed again. I still had no idea where my bullets were ending up, but they weren’t hitting the target. “Try again,” Orion called out, and I repeated the process. In all I fired seven times, the same number as Orion, and failed to hit the target even once. I failed to hit anything even once. I had no idea where my bullets went. They must have vanished in the air as they were flying.

At last I came back and returned the gun to Orion. I didn’t dare to look him in the eyes as I handed it back to him. “Everyone’s like that the first time,” he said, taking the gun. “We’ll try it again tomorrow.”

Tomorrow? I couldn’t resist asking. “Why? Why are you doing this with me?”

He called over his shoulder as he walked to pick up the bullets. “I told you. Because you and me are destined for greatness.”

*******************************************************************

“So when are you going to go out with her again?” David asked me.

I tried to avoid the question at first, looking around the room and pointing to a corner in the back where Christopher and Varro were debating LJ in excited tones. “What the hell is that? A damn scholar’s conference?”

David rolled his eyes. “If it bothers you Jon just ignore it.”

“Yeah but when did LJ become so popular?”

David glanced back at the trio himself. “Ever since Rosa started paying attention to LJ, everyone wants to talk to him now. I hardly ever see him alone with a book anymore. But quit changing the subject Jon. I’m trying to talk to you about Helen. You’ve got to be careful with a girl like that. She may have asked you for a date last time, but you can’t expect her to do that every time. Do you have a plan for next time?”

In site of myself, my mind kept drifting to the conversation in the corner. It was noon break, and the five of us were the only ones still in the room. Everyone else was outside. David and I had lingered behind because he wanted to grill me on Helen. I didn’t know what those three were up to.

“You can’t be serious,” I heard Christopher say. There was a furious tone in Christopher’s voice, as if he were just barely restraining himself from doing LJ physical harm.

Varro’s voice was a lot calmer. “But the Restoration helped the poor,” he said in his usual analytical tone. “Everyone knows that. Before the Restoration no one had enough to eat.”

“People don’t have enough to eat now,” LJ replied. “Have you ever been to the slums? [Give slums prominence earlier in the story?] The Restoration was done in the name of the poor. And it enlisted the help of the poor by telling them it was on their behalf. But what changed after the Restoration? We simply traded a foreign king for a native one. Nothing changed. The poor are still being murdered, only now Flash is doing it.”

“Murdered?” Christopher cried out. “Now I know you’ve lost it.”

“Have I? Well consider this, then: when someone kills accidentally, we call it manslaughter. And when it is premeditated, we call it murder. Now consider the conditions of the poor. They slave all day in the factory, for which they are often given as wages only a fraction of the wealth they generate. And then they must pay almost all of it to the landlords, who are often the same people who own the factories. And their children starve as a result, while the owners simply pocket the profits to pay for their extravagant lifestyles in the clubs and salons. They have mountains of money just laying away, and yet the still squeeze the poor for every little bit. And yet, whenever there is a worker’s demonstration, Flash crushes it at once. Tell me Chris, is that not murder?”

“You think just because your dad is a lawyer you can outsmart me with that kind of talk?” Christopher cried out. “Because the factory owners are generous enough to give people jobs, you call it murder? Well it’s not, and I don’t care what legal tricks you use.”

All the time while this drivel from the scholars conference poured into my ears, I kept my eyes fixed on David, but he could tell the lights had left my eyes, and he knew I was distracted by something else. “Jon, pay attention. I’m trying to help you here. Now what’s your plan?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. The play worked great. Do you have any more ideas like that?”

David assumed his thoughtful look, and seemed almost to enjoy the fact that I had deferred to him. In fact I think that’s why he wanted to grill me on all of this in the first place. He was just waiting for me to defer to his expertise again. “Well, unfortunately, there’s not a play every week. And even if there were, you don’t want to ask her to the same thing twice in a row. Girls, especially girls like Helen, like variety. Is there anything else your dad will let you get away with?”

“Not much.”

“It’s been four months since we got in trouble. Hasn’t he begun to loosen up at all?”

“No, he’s just as strict as when he started this program. Every day after I finish at the Center I have to come straight home. And on Sundays he practically stands over me as I do my homework. The only time I ever get any slack is when…” I trailed off as I suddenly realized what the solution was.

“Is when what Jon?”

“David, you remember Orion, right?”

“Yeah,” David responded in a tone that seemed to add, “Of course I remember Orion.”

“And you know he’s joined the Cadets now, right?”

“Yeah, why? Do you see him around the center or something?”

“Well it’s the oddest thing but recently he’s been dropping by the Cadet Center after he finishes his drills, and he’s been teaching me stuff. And no one at the Center seems to mind.”

“You’ve been hanging out with Orion?” David’s eyes just about popped out of his head. “You? You guys are complete opposites.”

There was something about the way he said it that indicated it wasn’t a complement to me. I took mild offense. “What the hell does that mean?”

“Oh come on Jon. How many school clubs have you ever joined? In all the time I’ve known you, I don’t think you’ve ever joined a single club, let alone become a club captain. But Orion was captain of soccer, of Lacrosse, of track and field…” David’s voice trailed off to indicate this was only a portion of the examples he could list. “And not just sports, but he was head of the chess club and the debate club as well. And his grades were the top of his class. When he was a student here, he was easily the best known person in this school. Now, Jon, as for you…” A smile tugged at his lips, and I could tell he was setting up for the punch line.

I didn’t give him the pleasure of finishing that sentence. “All right, all right, I don’t understand it either. But he’s been taking me out everyday, and no one at the Cadet Center questions it. So if I could just get him to cover for me once, I could go out with Helen while everyone thinks I’m out with him.”

“You think he’ll do it?”

“I don’t see why he wouldn’t. It’s no skin off of him. He wouldn’t even have to say or do anything. If he doesn’t say anything, everyone at the Center will just assume I’m out with him as always.”

David cocked his head, smiled in a “Well there you go then,” manner, and leaned back in his chair. But I think some part of him was disappointed at not having found the solution himself.

********************************************************

“Where’s the rifle?” I asked. It was the first time that Orion had showed up without his bag.

“I’ve decided we’re going to give that a rest for a while,” he said, stretching his arms out as if getting ready for something. “You’re making good progress on that, but we’ve got to put first things first. Weapons training isn’t until the third year. Of course we’re grooming you for leadership, but even then they still start off from the very beginning. And you’ve got much bigger problems than your marksmanship.”

He looked directly at me when he said this last part, so I looked down at my body to see if I could find the problem he was referring to.

“I mean your running,” he continued. “That’s why they could catch you at the University, wasn’t it?”

“You heard about that?” I was more ashamed than surprised.

“That’s why you’re ‘volunteering’ at the Cadet Center, isn’t it? I ask around about these things. I don’t take the trouble of teaching someone without finding out about him.” He paused to let that sink in. I wondered how much else he knew about me.

“And don’t forget about the time you ran into me in the market. The police would have caught you for sure if I hadn’t hid you.” I opened my mouth to say that it had been mostly David’s fault, but I stopped. Orion didn’t seem like the kind of person you could make excuses to.

Instead I meekly added, “I did get away with the hat.”

He paused to consider this point, and then nodded his approval. “Yes, you did get away with the hat. I understand that was more due to your climbing skills than your running, but you got away with it.” Now how in the world did he know that? I looked up at him and waited for him to reveal how he had found out, but he just continued. “That’s not good enough though. The Cadets Corp consists of running every day. Hard Running. Especially for the first years. Almost all of the Cadets who wash out, [make sure consistent] wash out because they can’t handle the running. You have to run long distances, and you have to run them fast. And if you can’t handle the running, you’ll never even get to the rifle. So, first things first. From now on we’re going to run everyday, and we’re going to run hard.”

I could have done without the everyday or the hard part. This had been an interesting little excursion when Orion let me shoot his rifle, and I appreciated getting out of the Center a couple hours early. But if this was going to turn into a lot of grueling physical activity like we had in gym class [check name to be consist with earlier chapter], then maybe I would rather be in the Center after all. Filing was boring, but not so bad that I wanted to trade it for physical pain. Besides, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to join the Cadets anyway. “I’d rather practice with the rifle instead,” I said. He looked disapprovingly, so I added, “I could run on my own.”

And then he smiled. It was the first time he had smiled at me that day. “You’ll only run if there’s someone chasing you,” he said. “I know your type. I’m going to teach you how to run when there’s no one behind you.”

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Orion took me to the Cadet track. It was a long oval, about a quarter of a kilometer in length. As afternoon turned into evening, the sun was setting, but darkness had not yet taken over and the air was a kind of gray. The area was completely deserted except for the two of us, since the Cadets did not linger around after finishing their practice. And yet there was something lingering in the air here, as if the feeling of collective exhaustion had stayed long after the Cadets had left. The mere act of walking onto the track seemed to tire me out.

Orion was bending down to tighten the laces on his shoes, and I mechanically did likewise on mine. “I’ll run alongside you,” Orion said. “Make sure you keep up with me.”

He looked me in the eye, and I nodded, and there were no more preliminaries than that. Suddenly he was off, and I was running to keep up.

He was running at a fast pace. I could keep up with him for the moment, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep up for long. I was already beginning to tire around the first turn, and at the half way mark I felt completely beat. But I didn’t want to give up when I was halfway done, so I kept running.

We returned to the start of the track, but Orion kept running. And I forced myself to keep up with him. “How…many…times…around?” I managed to gasp out between breaths.

“Eight,” Orion answered.

I knew as soon as he said it that I would never make it to eight. Not at this pace. But I wanted to make as good a show as possible before I collapsed, so I continued running with him. Maybe I could make it to four laps.

By the third lap everything was burning, and I felt like I was continuing only through sheer force of will. At this point my breathing was so heavy and so labored that Orion must have known how much agony I was in. I noted with embarrassment that while I gasped for each breath, Orion had not even started breathing hard.

By the fourth lap I was beginning to fall behind him despite my best efforts. Now my mind, as well as my body, were telling me it was time to quit. If I couldn’t keep up with him, then what was the point of putting myself through this agony? I had already failed the task. I had barely started the fifth lap when I felt like I could not run another step if it killed me. I abruptly stopped running.

“We’re only half way done,” Orion said.

“…can’tdoit…” I breathed out. I made it all one word, because I didn’t have the breath to say them separately.

“Yes you can,” he said. “If you have to craw on the last lap, you’ll finish them all.”

I remembered something our gym teacher had said about the importance of starting out with light training and gradually working up to more challenging stuff. “Shouldn’t we…take it easy…first day?”

“Tomorrow we’ll take it easy. Today you have to learn to push through your pain. That’s the most important step.” He still wasn’t even winded yet. It was amazing. “We’ll slow down a little bit, but you will finish.”

Some how, for a reason I can’t fully explain, I did it. I kept running with Orion. There was just something about him; an aura that seemed to command respect and obedience. And so when he said we were going to finish all eight laps, I gave into him. At that moment Orion had more power over me than any other human being. If Flash himself had commanded me to keep running, it wouldn’t have been any different.

Orion seemed to know exactly what my breaking point was, and push me just right under it. He would slow down occasionally when he knew I couldn’t stand anymore, but never let me rest. By the time we finished that eighth lap my legs were so wobbly that it seemed like I was crawling. As soon as we came to the end, I collapsed on the ground. My legs couldn’t have held me up any more if I tried.

As I was lying on the dirt, gasping for breath, Orion stood over me smiling. “You didn’t think you could do it, did you?” He must have known from my breathing that I couldn’t have answered, but he let the question hang in the air a while before continuing. “You did it though. It took everything you have, but you did it.” My cheek was lying in the mud, but I lifted my face up to look at him. “Tomorrow we’ll take it easy,” he said somewhat reassuringly. “You did good for today.” And then he walked away and left me still panting in the dirt.

***************************************************************

It was only after I returned home that I realized I had forgotten to ask Orion to cover for me. The running had pounded my mind clear, and at the time all I could think of was how much I hurt.

Once I caught my breath, the walk home wasn’t too bad. My legs moved in a heavy mechanical way, as if they were not part of my body but some external object I was dragging along with me. But at the same time, they were numb to any pain.

It wasn’t until the next day that my legs burned with fire. Every step to school was agony. If I thought my father would let me be sick from school, I would have stayed home in bed.

David immediately asked how things had gone with Orion and of course I had to tell him to wait another day. “I’ll ask him tonight, this time for sure.”

And so when Orion came to the Cadet Center, I wanted to make sure it was the first words out of my mouth. The first words out of my mouth, that is, after we left the building. I didn’t want to say anything in front of the other office workers.

Orion walked up to the center at the same time as usual with his usual confident stroll. But this time he smiled at me from the moment we made eye contact across the hall. And this time it was a comradely smile. It seemed to say that the two of us were part of the same thing, whatever that thing was. I suddenly got the sense that I had been tested yesterday and that I had passed.

“How are you today?” he asked in a warm tone. And then before I could answer, “I bet you can hardly walk.”

My only reply was to nod. I usually felt a little nervous talking to Orion in general, but I especially hated having our conversations on display before the whole Cadet Center.

Orion turned to my supervisor. “I’ll take him out for the usual work out.”

My supervisor was buried in paper work at his desk, and didn’t even look up. He simply brought his hand up to his forehead in a lazy salute to acknowledge he had heard. The whole office was so used to Orion taking me out that they barely even noticed anymore.

As soon as the doors swung closed behind us I began my appeal. “Listen, Orion….” I didn’t usually address him by his name like that, but after the comrade smile he had just given me in the office, I figured it would be all right. “I’ve got a favor I need to ask you.”

His expression changed to one of annoyance. It was slight, but I caught it. This threw me briefly, but then I remembered all the time he was spending on me already. “It won’t be any more trouble,” I added quickly. “In fact it will be less. I want to go out on a date with this girl, so I just need to cancel our training for just one day. You could come get me just like you do everyday, but then you could take the evening off.”

“Take the evening off?” he exploded. “Are you paying me to come down here?”

Damn it, bad choice of words. “No, that’s not what I meant. It’s just I know I must be taking up a lot of your time, and so I figured you wouldn’t mind having an evening to yourself. Besides, I really like this girl, so it would mean a lot to me.”

“Do you think I’m just playing games with you?” There was a bit of a hard edge to this question, but he wasn’t angry with me. He seemed now like a teacher taking pains with a promising student. I paused to consider which answer would get me the result I wanted, and he filled up the silence with another question. “Why do you think I’m spending all my time with you?”

I remembered what he had told me earlier. “Because the two of us are destined for greatness?” I said it as a question. The confidence was drained from my voice.

“Not if you don’t work at it you’re not. Now if you think I’m just playing games, you can go back to the Center. You need to be as serious as I am. You did good yesterday. You’re making good progress. But this isn’t a game to me, and it shouldn’t be to you.” He paused to let his words sink in, and then changed his tone to a friendlier one to let me know the rebuke was finished. “Do you think you can run again?”

“I can barely walk.”

He smiled. “You can run. You just need someone chasing you again. But we’ll rest for one day. Today we’ll practice with the rifle again. Starting tomorrow, we’ll run everyday. We’ll start slow, but we’ll train seriously. The girls can wait for another time.”

I was disappointed, but not devastated. At the time this just seemed like another obstacle I had to get around. I didn’t know how, but I would find a way somehow.

*************************************************************************

My father had been trying to accommodate my new schedule by holding dinner later in the evening. It was the least he could do since he had been the one who had re-arranged my schedule. And he always felt it was important for us to eat dinner as a family.

Abel of course complained about how hungry he was, and so my father had the servants feed Abel a snack when he came home from school. He’s a lot softer on Abel than he is on me. If it were me, he would have told me just to tough it out and wait for dinner. Because it’s Abel, Abel gets a snack. The image of Abel sitting at home with a big after school snack makes those afternoons at the Center even harder to bear. {Tense?}

That evening we were sitting to dinner as usual. Abel was helping himself to another portion despite this being his second meal of the evening. I was also eating heartily, and in fact in those days was never without a good appetite. At sixteen my body was in a constant stage of hunger.

My father ate sparingly as always. He always finished the meat and bread on his plate, but he never took anymore. He sometimes looked disapprovingly at the large portions Abel and I were taking, but he never said anything. He made up for what little he ate by drinking plenty of coffee after dinner.

During the dinner he and Abel chatted idly about Abel’s school friends and all sorts of other stupid things. It was during his cup of coffee that he suddenly turned to me and said, “Jonathon, I’ve been hearing reports about dangerous talk at your school.” I just blinked at him blankly. Dangerous talk? What does that even mean? How can talk be dangerous. “Some people have been saying untrue things about the Duke, and the Restoration.”

There was a hesitant sound to his voice, and I realized why he had waited until after dinner to bring this up. He must have been wondering how to approach the topic all through dinner. He was afraid that even mentioning it would put ideas into my head.

“You mean LJ?” I asked after a pause. “LJ is the only one I can think of. But no one listens to LJ.”

“What kind of things does he say?” asked my father, again somewhat hesitantly, as if part of him still didn’t want to get into this conversation.

I found this line of questioning annoying. It wasn’t that I cared what my father thought about LJ. It was that he was asking about my school life. My father made me go to the Cadet Center, he watched me do my homework, and he got reports when I went to plays. The only life I had of my own at all was at school, and now he was trying to crowd in on that too.

I shot off a rapid response in an irritated voice. “I don’t know, I never listen to him. Something about how Fla-the Duke goes around killing the workers or something. I don’t really pay attention.” Even though my father himself calls the Duke by his nickname, there was something about the tone of this conversation that make me think it would be better for me at least to refer to Flash in a respectful way.

My father took in a deep angry breath and then turned his head to the side to let it out. It was as if he were so angry he momentarily couldn’t speak. Then he turned back to me. He spoke in a level voice despite his face being flushed red with anger. “You know, LJ wouldn’t even be in that school if it weren’t for Flash.”

This picked up my curiosity a little. “What do you mean?”

“He’s a Gibeonite [sp?]. LJ and Joshua both. Before the restoration they couldn’t even attend the schools. It was Flash’s idea to make everyone equal.”

I suspected my father was wrong about this, but when he was angry correcting him was dangerous. I started out slowly. “I know Joshua is a Gibeonite, but…”

He cut me off. “LJ’s family converted so his father could practice law, but he still has Gibeonite blood running through his veins. His real Gibeonite name is Brutus. Under the old laws, even converted Gibeonites couldn’t become lawyers or attend schools. His family owes absolutely everything to Flash and the Restoration. And he’s telling everyone at school that Flash is a murderer?” His face flushed bright red again at this last thought, and then it faded slightly. “You don’t spend a lot of time with LJ, do you?”

Now this was too much. First of all it was none of his business who I spent time with at school. Secondly I had just told him twice that I never listen to LJ, and if he’s not going to pay attention to what I say why does he even bother talking to me? I wanted to tell him to go to hell, but what came out of my mouth was simply, “Oh come on!” I spoke angrily and stressed each word louder than the one before.

He hit the table with his open palm, and all of the dishes and silverware jumped slightly in the air from the impact. “Don’t forget who you’re talking to,” he said. “Don’t you ever use that tone with me again.”

With my father everything depended on his mood. On another day I could have gotten away with that tone. Today he was already angry about LJ, so I should have known better than to speak sullenly [better adverb?]. But he did at least drop the topic and not pursue the question anymore. He finished his coffee in a tense silence, and then he left the table.

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One day, a couple weeks later, now deep into the fall, I saw Helen walking side by side with Ajax through the school halls. With Ajax!

It was right after class got out. I was walking behind them, so they couldn’t see me, but I had a clear view of them. Ajax was obviously putting it on a bit for her. He had a nice smile on his face as opposed to that sneer he usually had. And he was looking into her face with an expression of kindness that I had never seen on him before. It made me sick to see that look on him, because I knew there wasn’t a kind spot in his entire body. He was obviously just wearing that expression as a mask, but I could see through him. And she could too, right? She’s been going to this school for several months, she must know what his character is like.

Ajax must have told some sort of a joke, because she tilted her head back and laughed. And then she touched his arm affectionately. It was a light touch, but it was there. Was she flirting with him? Did Ajax honestly say something funny? He wasn’t witty. She must have been laughing just to please him.

What was a girl like Helen even doing near Ajax? He was the complete opposite of everything she was. She was pure and innocent, and she had some sort of goodness you could just feel when you sat next to her. He was spiteful and mean, and he and his friends loved to bully other people.

There was a part of me that wanted to go up and pick a fight with Ajax right then, but it wouldn’t have been a good idea. It would have gotten me suspended from school and in even more trouble with my father, but even more importantly it would have indicated to Ajax what my weakness was. The last thing I needed was for him to find out what my pressure points were.

As we all walked out of the school, and everyone was running this way and that to find their friends or go home, Helen and Ajax continued talking to each other right in the middle of it. They were standing in front of the school, not even appearing to notice all the people running around them. Helen was starring into Ajax’s eyes, and he was looking back at her, and no one else even existed.

“Don’t look too hard,” a voice said beside me. “You’re being obvious.”

I knew it was David even before I turned to look at him. “What is she doing?” I asked. “She can’t possibly like him?” The words turned up at the end like a question.

“They’re just talking.”

“But why is she even talking to him? You know what he’s like.”

“Listen to me Jon,” David said in his stern voice. “You do not want to make a big deal out of this. She’s just talking to Ajax. It doesn’t mean she likes him. I even talk to Ajax sometimes. It doesn’t mean anything. Just because you and Ajax don’t get along doesn’t mean everyone has to carry on your fight.”

I could hear what David was saying, but I wasn’t really paying attention to it. His words seemed to wash over me like waves, but not leave any lasting impressing. “I should go over there and say something,” I decided. I still didn’t want to let Ajax know I was upset, but perhaps I could do it smoothly. I could walk up calmly and ask Helen something about the homework assignment or something. It would still allow me to break up their conversation.

David pressed his hand down firmly on my shoulder. “That’s a bad idea. Let them talk, that’s all it is. Besides, you should probably be heading to the Cadet Center anyway, right? You’ll see her tomorrow.”

But I couldn’t just go to the Cadet Center. I knew this thing would be torturing me all afternoon if I didn’t find out what was going on. I would be doing my filing in the center, and still not be able to get Helen and Ajax out of my mind. And how could I train with Orion when that sort of thing was pressing down on my mind.

I decided to risk being late to the Cadet Center. No one there cared anyway. The only one who would care was my father. He was, as far I knew, still receiving reports on me, but I was willing to risk his wrath for this.

Outwardly, I agreed with David. I nodded, said good-bye to him, and headed in the direction of the Center. Then, once David was gone, I changed directions and went on the road to Helen’s house. I walked up and down that road, waiting to run into her on her way home. After about 10 minutes, I did.

She was walking down the road with the usual smile on her face. She even seemed to have a little extra bounce in her step. Her blonde hair, cut now slightly below the ears, bounced up and down with her step. She held her book bag in her left arm, and swung it back and forth as she walked.

She was in a distracted mood, and didn’t even notice me until I almost walked right into her. “Jon!” she exclaimed. “I didn’t even see you there.” And then a split second after the surprise faded away, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at the Cadet Center?”

“What were you doing talking to Ajax?” I demanded.

She seemed too stunned for words at first. And then simply, “What?”

“I saw you talking with Ajax.”

“Well of course you saw me. We were right in front of the school.” She held her head back slightly and tilted it to the side. Her eyes narrowed, but the corners of her mouth were smiling. She assumed the manner of someone waiting for me to complete the joke. She thought the whole thing was a joke.

“Why were you talking to him?”

“I really don’t think that’s any of your business Jon,” she spoke slowly and cautiously, still expecting that this whole thing might be a joke. “The conversation had nothing to do with you.”

“I don’t care about the conversation. I mean why were you even talking to him. Don’t you know what he’s like?”

With that, the last traces of the smile were wiped off her face. “He’s nice to me.”

How could she be so stupid? “Of course he’s nice to you. You’re a girl. But you must know what he’s really like.”

“Jon, whatever juvenile argument you and Ajax have between the two of you, I don’t want to be pulled into it. He’s nice to me.”

“He’s a bully. Is that the kind of friend you want?”

“I can take care of myself. It’s none of your business who my friends are. I can talk to whoever I want.” Her voice was steadily rising, as if the more she talked the more she worked herself up. “You’re always telling me not to talk to people. Varro is boring. Simon is a jerk. Icarus is crazy. LJ reads too many books.” She paused to take a breath. “Is there anybody in the school I can talk to? I don’t have any problem with Ajax.”

If I had any sense at all, this was probably the moment where I should have backed off. But I had spent too much time working myself up about Ajax. “Don’t be stupid,” I said.

And I saw her eyes, the eyes which always seemed to glow with happiness, go dead. “What did you just call me?”

Now this was slightly unfair, because I hadn’t called her stupid; I had told her not to be stupid. But before I even had time to explain this distinction to her, she was pushing me aside and continuing down the road. “I’ll see you tomorrow Jon,” she said without looking at me. This time at least I had enough sense to let her go before I made things even worse. She walked away quickly, and the carefree swing was now gone from her arms. The book bag hung limply by her side, and only moved so much as it was jilted by her stride.

Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! In my mind I called myself every name I could think of as I went to the Cadet Center.

************************************************************************

Orion ran me as usually. After having pushed me to my limits on the first day, he now took seriously the philosophy of building up endurance slowly. We only ran two laps around the track. We ran them fast, but he let me stop after two.

“We’ll do more tomorrow,” he said as we slowed to a stop. As usual he was not even breathing hard, while I was still heaving to catch my breath. “Listen, I know I was hard on you a couple days ago,” he continued. “I hope you’re not still upset.”

“No, I’m not.” That was true actually. I wasn’t upset at him. I didn’t really understand why he had turned me down for the favor, but I knew he didn’t owe me anything. Of course if I thought I could have gained anything by saying I was upset, I would have. But I knew he wouldn’t have budged.

“Training for the Cadets is hard work,” Orion said. “It’s not enough just to have me pushing you. You need to have your heart in it as well.”

I simply nodded in response to this. I think he would have known I was lying if I had said my heart was in it.

He walked over to his bag and opened it. He had two rifles inside instead of one. “I requisitioned another arm from the Cadet storehouse for today,” he said. “Today we’re going to practice shooting together.” I didn’t even think to ask how he as a first year had enough influence to requisition extra firearms. Orion seemed liked the kind of person who somehow always ended up getting his way.

“You’ve been getting a lot better at your marksmanship recently,” Orion said. “But shooting on the range isn’t enough. If you can learn to hit moving targets, then you’ll have more of an edge over the other Cadets.”

He started walking and I followed him. Naturally I assumed this meant we were going hunting, but instead of heading towards the hills he walked towards the center of town. I wondered what sort of “moving targets” we would find in the center of town.

We had been walking in silence for a while when he began talking. “Do you remember the first time we met?” he asked me.

“In the market place?”

“Yes, in the market place. I had noticed you before then of course. I had seen you around the school. And I knew who your father is. But at that moment in the market place I was certain. I could see you were just like me.”

We turned down a road, and I realized we were heading toward the slums. Orion kept the bag with the rifles swung over his massive shoulders, and he scarcely seemed to notice the weight of it as he walked. “You’re friend was with you,” Orion continued, “but he wasn’t like you, was he? He was scared. I could see it in his eyes. He was scared of me, he was scared of the police, he was scared of getting caught, he was scared of life. But you were living at that moment, weren’t you? You had never felt more alive before in your life.”

He turned to look at me, and my face must have shown amazement on it. I could not believe how well he had read me. Just from the brief encounter in the market place, just from me running into him and him looking at me, he could tell so much. And it was all true. He understood me much better than my father, who had lived with me my whole life. He even understood me better than David, who had been my best friend for as long as I could remember.

“I know because I’m the same way. Most people live their lives like your friend David, too afraid to take what they want. But people like us see what we want and we take. We don’t care about conflict. We live for the conflict. Like the time you took the police hat. You saw what you wanted, and you took it. You’re friend could never have done that, could he?”

We arrived at the edge of the slums. The slums were in a lower part of the city, and the ground descended rapidly at the edges, so that by standing on the edge it was like looking over a hill at the whole area. The whole area was filled with smoke, which somehow seemed to remain clustered over the slums. I think some of the smoke did occasionally escape to other parts of the city, but by that time it was always so diffused as to become unnoticeable.

The road itself quickly deteriorated as well. All the way up to the slums it was the same as all the other brick roads which winded their way through the city. At the edge of the slums, it turned almost immediately into a dirt road as it descended down the hill and then was swallowed up by the masses of houses and apartments all scrunched together.

Orion led me a little way off the road to a grass embankment overlooking the slums. He lay down on the grass and started unpacking the gun. Suddenly the words “moving targets” took on a frightening new meaning for me. “We’re not going to shoot at the people are we?”

Orion shot me a disgusted look, and then returned to unpacking the rifles, as if the question was not even worth addressing. “Don’t be thick.”

I immediately blushed. That was a stupid question. Almost as soon as it was out of my mouth I felt like an idiot for even thinking it. Orion didn’t appear to remember it very long though. “Give me a hand with these,” he said. “You remember what to do, right?”

I knelt down beside him and carefully took out the second rifle. Orion always treated the rifles with a large degree of respect. He handled them carefully and lovingly. I think imitated that almost unconsciously. It was just one of his many actions that seemed to seep into me without me even thinking about it.

Orion took out one of the bullets out of the bag and loaded it into the gun. He motioned for me to lay down a little way away from him, as he shut the chamber door and pulled the bolt into a locked position.

As worried as I was about saying something stupid again, my curiosity couldn’t contain itself. “What are we going to shoot?” I ask.

“Cats,” Orion answered, closing one eye and looking down the barrel of the gun.

I followed Orion’s gaze down the barrel of the gun, and down the hill to the slums. There was a wooden fence right in front of an old house, in front of which several cats were walking around. He pulled the trigger, and the head of one of the cats exploded into a bloody mess. The cat dropped to the ground immediately. The other cats around all darted every which way for cover. In a flash all of the cats had vanished except the one lying dead on the ground.

I was made sick by the sight of the blood, although I tried not to show it. Orion had a look of serene calm on his face as he slowly pulled the chamber back and popped out the bullet shell. “Won’t anyone complain about this?” I asked.

“Not when I’m wearing this uniform.” Orion pointed to the Blue Cadet Uniform he was wearing.

Orion blew at the smoke in the chamber, and began reaching for another bullet. “Yeah, but, but don’t these cats belong to somebody? Won’t people get upset?”

“There are tons of stray cats crawling the slums. Nobody owns them. They’re a nuisance. We’re doing a public service by eliminating a few of them.”

A few of the cats, initially frightened away by the loud explosion, were now returning slowly to the area. Some of them were even cautiously approaching their dead comrade, trying to figure out what was going on.

Boom! Off went Orion’s gun. Another cat’s head exploded. A second time the cats scattered for shelter.

“You try,” Orion directed me.

“The cats are now hiding now.”

“Over there.” Orion pointed to a point on the fence farther down to the left. “Don’t worry, the gun has enough range to get there. If you’ve got the skill to aim at this distance, that is.”

I loaded a bullet, and leaned forward at the sights. Squinting up against the sights, the cats seemed like only small black spots. I drew back my face, and the cats came back into focus again. When I tried to line up the sights, everything got all blurry.

“Take your best shot,” Orion said. “I think you’ll do better than you think you will.”

I pressed the trigger. I heard, rather than saw, that the bullet had made its mark. The cat let out a piercing scream.

“Excellent,” Orion said patting me on the back. “Just like I told you.”

But my marksmanship was not as good as Orion’s. I hadn’t hit the cat clean in the head like Orion, but rather wounded it somewhere. The cat was lying on the ground screeching out the most terrible sounds. “I should put it out of its misery,” I said reaching into the bag.

“Don’t waste the bullet,” Orion answered. “You got him. He’ll be dead soon enough.” Orion had already loaded another bullet into his gun, and was searching the length of the fence, looking for something else to shoot at. “Do you ever read the old stories?” he asked suddenly.

“Like in literature class.”

“No, the old stories from the beginning of time. The mythology. The stories of heroes, warriors and the great giants and monsters that they defeated.”

“A little bit I guess. I don’t really read too much.”

“I read the stories,” Orion fired a shot off. I’m not sure what he hit, but he seemed satisfied. “If I had been alive back then, I would have been a hero too. People would have written epic poems about me. But these days, there are no monsters left to fight. So we struggle against other men, and make our own legends. Like your father and Flash during the restoration. They were the heroes of their time. And we will be the heroes of ours. I will do glorious things on the battlefield.”

“But there aren’t any wars anymore,” I objected. “Fabulae has been at peace ever since I was born.”

“There are always more wars. Since the beginning of time, there’s never been a generation that didn’t have its own war. Ours will come. The question is, will you be ready when it does?”

While he was talking to me, Orion’s hand was reaching into the bullet bag again. “I don’t want to fight in a war,” I answered automatically.

“Why not?”

I had never thought about this before. “I don’t know. Because tt sounds like hard work I guess.”

“What do you want to do with your life?”

“I don’t know.”

Orion leaned forward into the gun’s sights. “Are you going to practice shooting, or just talk?” I realized that I had completely forgotten about the rifle at my side, and I had even been using it to lean up against it. I started to load the next bullet.

Orion fired again. Another hit. “You’ve got a lot of courage,” he said. “But you don’t have any focus. Are you going to go through your life just running from police? Or are you going to be a hero?” He looked straight at me. “I’m giving you a chance to be a hero.”

The gun suddenly felt cold in my hands.

Orion loaded another bullet. The sound of him opening and closing the chamber was becoming almost rhythmic. Click-Clack-Cluck. Click-Clack-Cluck. Another shot fired off. “The day will come someday soon when we will be shooting men instead of cats.”

*********************************************************************

David leaned against the school wall as I told him the story. “Jon, I told you to leave it alone.”

“Yeah, I know.”

The nice thing about David was that he wasn’t much for rubbing these things in. He just nodded his head thoughtfully. “Well, how bad is it?”

“She was really upset yesterday. And she wouldn’t talk to me all morning today.”

“Probably the best thing to do is just give her a couple days to calm down. And say you’re sorry of course. Did you say you’re sorry?”

“How can I say I’m sorry if she won’t talk to me?”

David tucked his head down in thought. “Well, I could talk to her if you want. I could tell her you’re really sorry for what happened, and that you feel terrible.”

“And let her know what a jerk Ajax is too, so she understands why I overreacted in the first place.”

David twisted his mouth slightly. “Let’s just stick to the apology for now Jon. I don’t think it’s a good idea to press that other point right now.”

He was probably right. “Well make me look good anyway, you know? Apologize, but kind of hint that you could understand my reasons.”

“Jon, do you want me to do this or not?”

“Yeah, fine, just say whatever you think is best.”

Simon came up to talk to us, and David automatically dropped the subject. He had good sense like that. He knew I didn’t want Simon in on this conversation without me even having to say anything.

We had been seeing less and less of Simon these days. I saw him in class of course, and I assume he still hung out with David some in the afternoons while I was stuck at the center. But during school breaks Simon had been spending more and more of his time with Leda and Joshua.

I didn’t mind of course. I was more than happy to spend less time with Simon. But it was odd that he was spending all his time with Leda and Joshua. Joshua had got to be the most boring person in the whole school. And Simon didn’t seem to be making any progress with Leda. After all this time they were still only acting like friends.

“Jon, what’s up?” Simon asked, punching me in the shoulder in a mock friendly way.

“What’s up yourself,” I answered, hitting Simon back a little bit harder. He took it in good stride though and didn’t even flinch. He turned smoothly to greet David with a handshake.

“Simon, are we still on for tonight?” David asked.

“Sure thing. I’ll stop by your place around six or so.” Simon turned to me. “You want to come too Jon? We’re going to play cards, and maybe throw the ball around a little, or something.” I didn’t answer. I just glared at Simon. He must have noticed my look, because he added, “that is if you can get out of your volunteer work at the Center.”

I just walked away. As I left, I could hear David apologizing to Simon on my behalf.

******************************************************************

That damn Simon! He knew full well I couldn’t get out of the Cadet Center. I bet he had just said that to rub it in. And David didn’t need to apologize for me all the time. At least he was getting some practice for when he talked to Helen.

The Cadet Center was as boring as always. I tried not to think of Simon and David playing cards and catch ball. Or, for that matter, of Abel enjoying an after school snack.

Orion came by the same time as always and we went running on the track. He had been gradually increasing the distance a little bit everyday. But my lungs were becoming used to it now. The air no longer hurt so much as it went in and out. My legs were still sore, but I was learning to push past the pain.

Afterwards Orion wanted to practice wrestling with me. I didn’t think this was very fair because he was so much bigger and stronger than I was. I was pretty sure that in real wrestling they only matched you up against guys the same weight as you.

“That’s only in the gymnasium,” Orion answered. “In a war they don’t care if the other guy weighs the same as you or not.”

“Do Cadets fight in wars?” It was a silly question, but it seemed like the next natural thing to ask. Orion seemed so obsessed with war, and the Cadets, but I had never heard of the Cadets going to war. It wasn’t because they were too young. They were eighteen, nineteen, all the way up to 22. There were men younger than that in the regular army.

“Cadets are the elite,” Orion said. “They don’t join the war until they graduate. Then they automatically become officers. Unless they’re one of the lucky ones selected for a special assignment. But until they graduate, they only train. And they maintain security on the University Campus.”

“Like this summer?”

“No, no, when it gets serious like that, they call in the regular soldiers from the countryside. They know the Cadets don’t want to shoot their fellow students. But those country boys absolutely hate the University. They hate all of the city, but they especially hate the University. They’re bitter because they never got a chance to go themselves. They show absolutely no mercy. It’s a good thing Zeus recognized you when he did. You wouldn’t have wanted them to hang onto you.”

This was the first time I had heard the name Zeus. He must have been the big man who had intervened when we were caught. I had never mentioned that to Orion, but Orion seemed to know everything.

*******************************************************************

“Well I talked to her Jon.”

David broke off there, and I just starred at him. Was he really going to make me prompt him? “And?”

“She accepted your apology, and she feels bad that she lost her temper. But she’s still a little bit upset. You really didn’t do yourself any favors Jon.”

“Yeah, I know already. But did you tell her about Ajax?”

David rolled his eyes. “I mentioned it a little. But she says it’s more than just Ajax. She thinks you’re so negative about everybody and she feels like you’re trying to drag her down into the same cynicism.” [Demonstrate this more clearly in earlier chapter?]

Helen always talked in glowing terms about everyone. She loved everyone, and that was what made her so beautiful. But she was naïve. I, on the other hand, could see people for who they really were. I briefly resented her for this naivety and then in another second it was forgotten. If she would become less loving, she would be that much less lovely.

“But doesn’t she know enough to stay away from Ajax?”

“Jon, they were just talking. It was completely harmless. It wasn’t like she was on a date with him or anything like that. Anyway you can’t control who she talks to.”

“Yeah I know, it’s just that…Ajax? The very thought of a nice girl like that with a guy like Ajax drives me crazy. I’d rather see her with any other guy even…” My mind searched for a name. Hector and Tuecer were the first names that came to mind, but they were just as bad as Ajax. “…Simon.”

Actually Simon wasn’t that bad. He got on my nerves sometimes, but that was probably just as much my fault as his. In a real fight, I knew Simon would have my back. It was just that Simon was the only other name that would come into my head just then.

David started laughing. “Great. I’m glad to hear you don’t hate Simon quite as much as you hate Ajax.” Since I knew I had said something stupid, there was nothing for me to do but stand there red face and sheepishly smile until David finished his laugh.

“Just don’t do anything stupid like that again. If you see him talking to her, just let it go. He maybe a jerk, but there’s no harm in her talking to him.”

I just nodded. Somewhere inside I knew he was right. And yet I couldn’t stand the thought of him talking to Helen. I think deep inside, I couldn’t stand the idea of anyone but me talking to Helen.