First Draft: Chapter 10

I took Helen home later that night, and biked to the suburbs where my home was.  I didn't even know what time it was, but when I looked at the clock it was much later than I expected.  No one else was up, so I just went to bed.
I didn't see Helen the rest of the weekend.  I decided to just wait until Monday.  I biked into town and in my play with David I was brought into a moments walk from her house, but I wanted to just wait until Monday.  I was nervous enough anyway, so I could use the break.
I went to school on Monday, and sat next to Helen again in class.  We chatted pleasantly and I told her about what I did for the rest of the weekend and she mentioned that she really enjoyed the play.  The teacher entered the classroom, and the conversation ceased.
During class, I felt her hit my arm.  I looked over and she motioned that she wanted to talk to me.  I leaned close, and she whispered, "Can I talk to you after school?"
"Is anything wrong?"
"I just want to talk."
"Okay."  I returned to my upright position, but I did not listen to the teacher.  In fact the rest of the day I tuned out all my teachers.  I thought only of Helen, and what she might want to talk about.
I met her in the hallways.  "Let's not talk here Jon.  Is there somewhere else we can go?"
The answers to that question were so numerous that I didn't know where to begin.  I simply shrugged.  "Take your pick."
"I want to go somewhere where there aren't a lot of people.  What about that field we were on the other night?"
"Not this time of day.  Not if you're trying to avoid other people.  It's a popular sports spot.
"What about all those coffee shops?"
"Those are fine.  Those have other people in them of course."
"Can we talk there?"
"Yeah.  I'm sure other people won't try and eavesdrop on us there.  We can keep to ourselves."  We talked about silly stuff on the way over, how our respective days at school went and what teachers we wished would drop off of the face of the planet and why.  We arrived at the coffee shop.  Neither of us having a taste for coffee, we each ordered sodas.  Helen was beginning to act increasingly nervous.  Once we sat down I could contain myself no longer.  "What did you want to talk about?"
She reached out and grabbed my hand and squeezed it.  I squeezed her hand in return.  "You're a very sweet boy Jon," her face became anxious, "but I'm new here.  I haven't even met most of the guys in our grade yet.  I'm not looking to hook up with someone the first month I'm here."  She squeezed my hand.  "Jon, I'm sorry.  I got confused a little of Friday night.  Do you understand?"  My mouth was dry, but I nodded.  "Are you okay Jon?"
"Yeah, I'm okay.  Don't worry Helen, I understand."

"Well, these things happen Jonny."  I was sprawled out on David's bed.  He was sitting on the floor of his room.  "Hey, cheer up man.  She's just one girl.  You'll get over her eventually."
"All this time I thought she liked me, but she was probably just being friendly."
"Yeah, you've got to be careful with girls like her."
A terrible thought struck me.  "Dave, do you think I messed up somewhere along the line?  Maybe she like me at first and I blew it."
"Now come on Jonny, don’t start thinking like that.  What did you do wrong?"  A flood of potential mistakes entered my brain.  I put my hand to my head and groaned.  "Jon, you're thinking about this too much.  What good is second guessing yourself going to do?"  I recognized the wisdom in his words, and yet I could not stop thinking about it.  "You know Jonny, I don't know if this is any comfort or not, but she did feel bad about it."
I bolted upright.  "What?  How do you know?"
"She's in a couple of my classes.  She told me."
He had my complete attention.  "What did she say?"
"Oh, she said you had agreed to talk to her later that afternoon, and she went on and on about how she was afraid she was going to hurt your feelings, and that you wouldn't want to be friends with her anymore.  I told her that she was only going to hurt your feelings more if she wasn't honest with you, and she agreed.
"You knew about this?"  I felt stabbed in the back.  The tow of them had been planning together on how she was going to give me the bad news.
"Well, what was I supposed to do Jon?  You wouldn't have wanted to hear it from me anyway."
That was true.  I'm glad she told me face to face at least.  "Yeah, you're right Dave."
He stood up and patted me on my back.  "You'll be okay Jon."
I lay back on the bed.  This wouldn't kill me, no, but it would be hard just the same.

The next day I felt awkward at first sitting next to Helen, but her friendliness put me at ease.  I was even able to talk to her after school without feeling too out of place, but things were not the same.  She was obviously interested in staying friends, and I still adored her, so we maintained talking to each other just as much.
And then one Friday before a month had even passed I arrived at school in the morning, and as everyone was scrambling to get to class I saw Helen walking with her arm wrapped around another guy.  He had his arm around her as well.  They were obviously comfortable with each other.  Who was the other guy?
Oh no!  Oh no!  Not him!  Anyone in the world but him!
Orion walked proudly.  He and Helen were in each other's embrace.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  I was standing behind them, but I thought I saw Orion look behind him and smile at me.  Was he really smiling at me, or was I just being paranoid in my hurt?  Did Orion, as I believed in my anger at the time, woo Helen just so he could crush my feelings.  I still don't know.  All I know was I was horrified.
At break, I saw them again arm in arm.  After school I tried to leave as soon as possible so I would not have to talk to Helen.  Keeping my head down to avoid making eye contact with her just in case she was out there, I headed for the door.  She would probably want to talk to me and explain things and she was the last person I wanted to talk to right now.
I sneaked outside, walked with my head down to my bike, fumbled quickly with my lock, and turned to go.  I wanted to get out of that place as soon as I could.  A leg flashed out and blocked my way.  I looked up and there was Orion.  His snickering gang of boys was with him.
I looked Orion over.  He was tall, he was handsome, he was good at everything, he was adored by all.  He could have any girl he wanted.  How could Helen resist him?
"Hey Jonny."  The boys were laughing already in anticipation of what was coming.
"I'm in a hurry Orion."
"No you're not Jon."  Orion gave a kick and my bike fell to the ground.  I rushed to it protectively, but Orion stepped on it to prevent me from picking it back up.  The boys closed in one me once again.  "We just want to talk to you."  He knelt down by me, as I hovered protectively over my bicycle.  "We understand you've had a rough time lately."
I stood up.  He stood up.  "What do you want?"
"Just think of us as your therapists Jon.  Now, we understand your tender little heart was broken earlier.  Is that true?  I remained silent, so Orion continued.  "Well the boys and I just wanted you to know how sorry we were."
There were shouts of agreement from the crowd, and voices piped in, "Cheer up Jon."
Or "don't be down Jon, it happens to all of us."
"Yeah, you’re a good fellow Jon."
Their tones seemed very sincere.  If it had been any other circumstance, I would not even have believed they were mocking me.
"Helen's a real nice girl Jon, a real nice girl.  A real intelligent girl too.  She's a real catch all around, huh?"  Orion circled me as he talked.  He was right; Helen was a real intelligent girl.  No doubt Orion had knocked her off her feet with his knowledge of literary classics.  No doubt she had been absolutely astounded by how much he had read, how many plays he knew about, and how intelligent he was.  The fact that he was tall dark and handsome were no doubt bonuses in her mind as well.  "It's really too bad you let her get away.  You won't come across anohter girl like her in a thousand years you know."
The boys echoed him.  "What were you thinking Jon?"
And "How could you let her get away?"
"Now Jonny, word out on the street is that you and Helen shared a few kisses.  Is that true?"  There was no way I wanted to answer that question in front of a leering crowd, but Orion did not intend to let me off the hook.  "I think we deserve an answer here Jon.  We can't help you if you won't talk to us."
"I'm not answering that question Orion."
The crowd made an oooing sound.  Orion turned to the boy closest to him.  "Well, that sounds like a yes to me.  What do you think?"
"I think that's a yes."
"Now Jon would you like to deny the fact that you kissed her?"  I remained silent.  Orion briefly assumed the deep important voice of a court judge.  "Let your silence condemn you sir.  We find you guilty."  (Yes, sadly in Fabulae silence was almost always taken for a sign of guilt in our courts).
Orion stopped circling and got right in front of me.  "Not bad Jon, not bad at all.  You've got fire in your blood, stealing her kisses like that.  Of course, Helen and I, we've gone much farther than just kissing.  How far do you think we've gone Jon?"  I wanted nothing more than just to hit him right then.  Oh, he was much stronger than I was, but I'd get one good hit in at least before he beat me into a bloody pulp.  Maybe then Helen would see what kind of a guy she was snuggling with.  The only thing that was holding me back was that it seemed to be what he wanted me to do.
"This question," Orion rolled up his sleeves, "you will answer Jon."
He intends to physically force me to answer?  Well no point in prolonging it then.  With as much distaste as I could put into voice I replied, "let me guess Orion.  You had sex with her."
Orion rubbed my head.  "Good guess Jonny boy.  Boy, you're really a lot smarter than I thought."  I coule all to easily imagine him seducing her.  What woman could resist him?  I could no longer contain myself.  My arm flew out towards him.
But he was quicker than I thought.  His right hand flashed up to block my punch, and almost simultaneously his left hand punched me in the face.  He was left-handed.
I fell to the ground.  "Stand him up boys," Orion called out.  I was roughly pulled to my feet.  I had given Orion an excuse to beat me, which he did repeatedly before his boys let me drop.  Orion straightened his shirt when he was done, as I lay bruised on the ground.  His boys watched to see what he would do next.  How they adored him.  He was irresistible to boys as well as girls.  "It's okay Jonny," Orion said stepping over me as he left.  "Everyone gets their heart broken sometime."

I picked myself up, retrieved my bike, and carefully examined it for any signs of damage before heading over to David's house.
I knocked on the door.  David was not pleased to see me when he answered.  "Jon!  You know better than to come to my house like this."
"What?"
"You're bleeding Jon.  My parents would freak out if they saw you right now."
"Are they home?"
"Yes, but come on.  If we get you downstairs you should be alright."  David led me down stairs to his room and began cleaning me up.  I told him about the encounter with Orion.
"My, you're a mess Jon."
"How bad is it?"
He looked me over.  "Well, Orion was smart enough not to do any permanent damage.  You're gonna look like you were in a fight for a couple of days though."
I rolled my eyes.  "My dad's going to love that."
I did my best to avoid my father that night, but he found me anyway.  He demanded to know what had happened, and insisted on having the doctor come to look me over, and lectured me sternly about how getting into fights at school was bad for my future.  I did not even try and explain the circumstances to him.  He wouldn't understand, and he wouldn't try to understand.

David cornered me on Monday at the beginning of school.  "Hey, Jon, I've got some great news."  We had five minutes before the bell officially ran to begin classes.  We left the crowded hallways and went in an empty classroom.
"I went over to Helen's house of Friday after you left.  I told her everything you told me."  Oh great, now Orion would bug me about being a squealer.  David must have read what I was thinking on my face.  "No, don't worry Jon, it's okay.  Helen was so disgusted by Orion she immediately decided she wanted nothing to do with him.  And, it turns out she had only met him the night before, that Thursday night.  What Orion told you about them having sex was an absolute lie, they never even kissed."  Well, I guess David was right after all.  This was good news.
David put his hand on my shoulder.  "Now Jon, I don't know how you're going to feel about this, but I think Helen might be interested in me."
"And you?"
"I think she's a great girl Jon.  Would you be okay with, I mean if we ever-"
It was an interesting position.  At first I was rather pleased with the prospect.  If I could not be close to Helen, then I could think of no one more deserving of it than David.  It was certainly a better choice than Orion.
Reader, perhaps you yourself have been in a similar position.  You are in love, but she is in love with your friend, and you think to yourself, "well if I can't have her, at least it's him and not someone else.  At least she'll be close by."  And then, you realize what this means.  It means they are always together around you, and the closeness you early welcomed becomes a dagger in disguise.  It is a constant reminder, like a wound that keeps getting torn open.  And soon, you can hardly spend any time with him, because he is always with her, and she is always with him, and you begin to resent both of them and you start to think to yourself, "Why did it have to be him?  Please, anyone in the world but him."